Convo.

C: Are you okay?

R: Where have you been? Returning to me with an “Are you okay?” Are you okay? Disappearing on me like that.

C: I didn’t disappear! 😀 You disappeared on me! I was worried. You weren’t responding to my texts and shit. I was outchea thinking that you eventually got bored of me and started hating me!!!

R: Nah, I would’ve told you if I felt that way

Detached.

So, as of late, I have been detached from… well… everything.

I have lost friends along the way and I have made numerous enemies.

All because I was am was detached.

I am trying so hard to recollect myself but it is difficult.

Life is a heck of a lot more difficult than I had expected.

My problems range from receiving a C on a test to not being able to catch a ball during touch rugby practice.

My stress ranges from the stress about a potentially lost whistle to how am I going to raise enough money to get my mother, my nephews and I out of that hellhole.

Over the past few months, I have suffered.

I have dealt with things that, had you told 15-year-old me that she was going to have to deal with that, I would have probably laughed in your face.

Whenever I get a text message, I sigh.

Now I have to use energy.

What am I going to do?

 

So what exactly is the problem?

Well… in summary: My mother wants to leave Simon but she can’t, due to financial restrictions. Now the happiest times for my mother is when he is not around. I want need to get her out of that. 

So… #FindChichiAJob (let’s get that trending, shall we?)

 

The other day, I considered trying to overdose on flu medication. 🙂

 

Regards,

Cheese

I made it in!

So… for the past few weeks, I have been stressing about trialling for ETA.

And on Thursday night, we got the results and… as it turns out, I made it into the squad!

Yay!

I am a bit bummed that I am in the C Team (which means we get dropped after the Regional Tournament) but I did play badly on the two trialling days so… 😀

 

So yeah… that is what is currently happening.

Here is to giving up my Sundays for the next two months!

 

Cheese Out!

What really happened to him (Part 02)

*Mother and I walk into Steers and place our orders*

Mother: Chichi, what would you like to eat?

Chichi: Erm… I do not know…

As we get closer to the front of the line, my mom urges me to quickly make my decision.

Eventually, she realises that I will not make my mind up anytime soon so she orders a Rave burger for me and a King burger for herself.

I give her a look.

“When will she stop making decisions for me?” I think.

We sit and wait

And wait

And wait

 

When my mother is done with her meal and is waiting for me to finish my chocolate milkshake, a woman with a baby on her back and a boy beside her walk in.

They look around and make eye contact with my mom.

The biggest smile ever appears on her face.

She looks like a drunkard (or at least what I have always been told is a drunkard).

 

They walk towards us and my mom greets them.

My mother introduces herself and me.

The other woman introduces herself, the boy (who is her son) and the baby on her back.

I do not remember the name of the boy but I remember the introduction of the baby.

“This is Adozo – Chioma.”

Laughs go all around the table.

Except for me.

Someone sitting at a neighbouring table would think that I was getting laughed at, I was the only one not laughing.

But with good reason.

Adozo.

Adozo.

Adozo.

Adozo.

 

At that point, I did not know what it meant but I knew one thing.

That’s what my father called me.

Kamo.

Well…

 

The day has finally come.

The day when you and I can, together, gloat about being 16.

Especially in Krab’s face! 🙂 😛 😀

 

I cannot wait to see you this morning.

I love you.

My first ever roommate.

The first person I ever trusted at this place.

 

You are beautiful and you have a heart of silver.

(I like silver more than gold)

Thank you for being there for me at all times and I know I annoy you (i.e. A lot!)

You shall deal. 😛

You are always here for me, be it that I need you to carry my bag to class or need you to take on an administrative position on Three Count Sports & Fitness Blog.

Thank you so much! 😀

 

I love you, Kamzozo!

Happy Birthday!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Minions Happy Birthday.jpg

What wrestling has taught me

1. Things change.

This is one of the biggest lessons I have got in my years of being a wrestling fanatic. One day, you could be the top dog but tomorrow… it could be you looking up at those that are flying.

Lesson: Be humble.

 

2. You will fail.

No wrestler can say that “I have never been defeated in my life!”

That is a lie. If that is the case though, who’s doing was it?

Was it the scripts or was it you, as the wrestler?

So… sometimes people will fail.

And if you look at some of the most hated WWE wrestlers (John Cena, Roman Reigns, etc.), you will see that these are the people who were booked to not lose matches.

This is unrealistic but there are some wrestlers who lose but never back down.

They (usually) get what they wanted and their hard work pays off.

Lesson: Dust yourself up and go back to the drawing board.

 

3. Never forget your past.

Whether you were 4 or 14 or even 24, your past is never forgotten.

It is what makes you.

Even if it was bad memories, those make you into who you are, so do not try to dismiss them.

Lesson: Let the world see you and all you have been through

 

4. Hard times breed better people.

Something that a lot of wrestlers have in common is hard upbringings.

Most of them grew up in poverty or with just enough to get by or they faced different levels of hardships through their lives.

These wrestlers with these stories happen to be some of the best.

Lesson: Sometimes hardships are what one needs in order to be great.

 

5. Follow your heart

I actually got this from one wrestler.

His name? Cody Rhodes.

Towards the end of last year, Rhodes requested his release from WWE.

This is something that is not often seen from second & third generation wrestlers, whose families fought for WWE.

When Rhodes requested his release, he stated that he was unhappy with the direction that his career was taking and so, instead of sitting around and sticking it out, he went out there to find some way to make himself happy.

Earlier this year, during the Bullet Club Facebook Live Q&A session, he mentioned that he was having the most fun that he has ever had as a wrestler.

Lesson: If you do not like the situation, get out. 

 

6. Take risks.

As a human being, deciding that you want to be a wrestler is one of the biggest risks you could take and that is usually the first step.

You have to talk to people and sometimes… make sacrifices.

Some wrestlers have been homeless and some have even skipped school, just in order to be able to do something that they love.

That is risk-taking.

Lesson: Take risks like there is no tomorrow!

 

What really happened to him (Part 01)

I feel like being spicy today so… let us talk about my father.

He’s dead not around.

He left mother and I, when I was eight years old.

I remember because I had just turned eight three days before his departure.

He had made it a habit to just disappear without telling anyone and he always seemed to blame it on the fact that he and mother had an argument.

Okay, sure.

He would disappear on a Thursday evening and reappear on a Monday morning.

This crazy pattern of his made me anxious but I always had someone who would comfort me until 8 February 2009.

He came home drunk, fought with mother and left.

Days… weeks… months… passed.

No trace of him whatsoever.

Then one day my mother receives a call…

*Phone rings, mother answers*

Mother: Hello?

Pause.

Mother: Yes, this is her.

Pause.

Mother: Yes, I am married to him but I have not seen him for quite some time.

Pause.

Mother: Okay…

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Mother: So wait… you live with him?

Pause.

Mother: Okay, we can meet at Steers tomorrow?

Pause.

Mother: Bring the child with.

Pause.

Mother: Okay, thanks.

Phone call ends.

 

Chichi: Ma, who was that?

Mother: Some woman named Wendy. She says that your father lives with her and they even have a child together.

At that point, my eyes start to fill with tears.

For months on end, I had wondered where he was and I find out that he has another child!

 

To be continued…

(S)He always finds a way

I’m not a superstitious person but I do believe in the concept of there being a God, who is looking down upon me and protecting me. I also believe that there are his helpers: Guardian Angels. I think these people might be just roaming around the earth as humans and I think I might have just figured out who mine is.

Just as God always finds a way, she does too.

Just like God tries to protect me, she does too.

Just like God loves me, she does too.

 

This just might be the only person who has been a guardian angel to me.

Maybe it is because I am her daughter or maybe it is because of how she just has a natural tendency to protect her own?

I always compare her to an animal and this is not in a bad way, she knows what I mean.

Animals generally protect their own and are (usually) calm unless you provoke them.

She is just like that!

 

My mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I needed a wake-up call to realise that.

That wake-up call came these past holidays.

Only then did I take note of these beautiful traits that make her who she is.

 

So yeah, that heavenly-sent guardian angel is my mother.

I am building her a house.

So… my mother just confessed something to me.

She said that there was a time, when I was at school, that she wanted to go to hospital.

Like, get admitted.

“Yazi, Chichi… I really wanted to go to hospital.”

“Why is that, ma?”

“Things got so difficult, to a point that I even thought maybe it would be best if I just got one day of rest and food that I do not have to stress about where it will come from.”

At this point, I keep quiet.

I try to comprehend all that she has just said.

She was so stressed, to the point that she wanted to go to a hospital and get admitted?

My mother hates the idea of hospitals.

That was the day that I saw that things were bad at home.

That was the day that I knew I have to build her a house one day.

She is one of my closest family members.

I love her.

Therefore I will work hard for her and make sure that she gets all that she wants.

 

Even if it means I live in a tiny studio apartment, I will get her a house.

Anywhere that she may desire it to be.

Then I shall rid her of all her debts as well of all the burdens that she carries (even the people who drag her down).

Thereafter I shall open her a business of her own.

And I shall tell her I love her in her own house, as she comes back from her business, to some nice quiet time.

Only then, would I have fulfilled my purpose.

 

Regards,

Chinyere

17 April 2017 Diary Entry

Today I lost someone.

Funny enough, it is actually Family Day…

So much for family.

 

Well… my uncle has passed on.

Last night, as I lay awake, I remember thinking: He’s going to die.

No, I was not accepting it but I was coming face-to-face with reality.

I had seen him in his last few days and… let’s just say it was not pleasant.

I was the only one who cried.

Seeing him in that state made me feel so helpless.

 

My left arm, which I am currently sleeping on, keeps going numb.

Seven year old Chichi: I will never get abused by a man. Not whilst I have my uncle. It will never happen.

And now… he is gone.

What will happen now?

 

I have never seen my aunt cry but earlier today, I did.

This is the second major death of a loved one.

I do not know how other family members will take it.

 

My granny, back at home, is apparently refusing to eat.

I heard one of my aunt’s say, “She probably sees it best to also go with him”

That might just be the day that I had my first major breakdown in a long time and for the first time, I felt like I really needed my psychologist.

I am struggling to sleep and the neighbour’s dogs are having a barking contest.

Save me.

 

Regards,

Chinyere

Pessimistic

When you live in a country like mine, which is forever going through turbulence and never-ending bumps, all you can do is hope.

Hope for a good life.

Hope for a better day.

In all of this hoping, there is something bad.

Having hope leaves room for disappointment and pain.

So then I ask myself, would it be better if I were just pessimistic?

Better if I just expected the bad outcomes rather than hold onto the little, fragile string of hope?

Probably… but what then would I be able to do?

My First Time

In my life, I have had a bunch of first times.

Some pleasant, some not so much, but the best first time I have ever experienced was in May 2013.

It was a windy day at Durban Beachfront.

I walk into our two bedroom apartment carrying my Steak & Kidney pie, which I had just bought from Shoprite. I quickly go to the microwave, place my pie in and set it to warm for 2 minutes.

I walk into my mother and I’s shared room silently (as she is sleeping). I quickly change out of my school uniform. I change quickly, go to my mom, kiss her cheek and walk out of the room.

I get to the kitchen and stop the microwave right before it pings. I feel like a boss because… well.

I get my pie out and put on the TV.

“… I’ve got to be direct

la la la

If I’m wrong, please correct

la la la…”

I smile as I watch and listen to the Daria theme and opening credits.

I love this show.

As I am watching and eating, my brother comes out of his room.

“Chichi? You’re back?”

“Yeah” I reply unenthusiastically whilst keeping my eyes glued to the screen.

“I actually got you something,” he mumbles.

“Oh yeah?” I ask unenthusiastically once again. By now, I am getting irritated.

“… but it seems you’re too busy to taste it so…”

Upon saying this, my head snaps back to look at him.

“What do you have for me?” I ask.

“You can go get it from my room.”

I quickly put down my pie and run to his room, whilst pushing him out of the way.

When I enter, I see a little whitish chocolate-looking thing. I do not know what it is.

As I walk closer to it, I see little sweet looking things in the big blog.

“That right there is nougat candy. I bought it for you.” he said.

I quickly thanked him not even knowing what I was being grateful for.

“No problem sister. I am off to work,” he said as he grabbed his stuff, “See you when I see you!”

I quickly waved at him and turned back to the candy.

This was a heart attack waiting to happen but hell, if that was going to be the result of eating this delicious looking candy, then so be it.

That was the first time I ate nougat candy and now… I cannot stop.

Word Prompt: Eat

This is something that I do on a daily basis.

Eat.

E.

A.

T.

Two vowels. One consonant.

One of the only things I have in common with other people.

Rhymes with ‘Yeet’

A dance move I cannot do.

Probably will never be able to.

Mmh,

I am bored.

What shall I do?

Eat.

Mmh,

I am hungry.

What shall I do?

Eat.

Mmh,

I am angry.

What shall I do?

Eat.

Mmh,

I am tired.

What shall I do?

Eat. Sleep.

 

Eating solves the world’s problems.

Not all of them but most of them.

My Relationship to Wrestling… (Part 2)

Eddie Guerrero is my favourite wrestler of all time (yes, I am ‘still’ a wrestling fanatic).

When I was younger, my half-brother watched wrestling ALL THE TIME.

Due to my desperation to get closer to my half-brother, I watched with him.

Due to living in South Africa, we were three weeks behind the actual taping days of WWE.

Raw played on Sunday evenings at 17:00.

It was one early December Sunday evening when Raw opened with a memorial.

Confused as to what was happening, brother and I sat there with confused expressions as we saw Eddie Guerrero’s image on the screen and the moment of silence which left Chris Benoit (best friend of Eddie Guerrero) weeping. Thereafter, there was a tribute video showing off all of Guerrero’s unorthodox antics. We laughed a little but it was in an awkward way. Eventually my brother stood up, “Shame.” he said as he walked into his room. I just stared at the screen. Usually this was the part where I would rush for the remote, so that I can change quickly, but on this day… it was different. Before I knew it, I was raising my left hand to wipe my eyes. I sniffed and changed the channel to Cartoon Network…

 

That day marked the end of his interest in wrestling…

For me, it was the beginning.